School Cooties

Sickness has hit! The kids have gotten the dreaded "school cooties" and now I have one home sick in bed with a fever! I love school time, the kids having a more regular schedule, being in an environment of learning, and being able to have some "me" time while they are there makes me appreciate them all the more when they come home.....but I hate the school cooties! I hate it when there is nothing you can do to make them better or a "magic" pill to give them to hurry the healing. I also hate that when this happens on my scheduled working days,I have to make a heart wrenching decision....go to work anyway and have someone stay with them or stay home and miss work. I would much rather be home with them, but I am also the only working adult in my household...wait I am the only adult period....sometimes it sucks having to be the mom and the dad, the cook and the car repairman, the lawn person and the laundry person, and the good guy and bad, all at the same time!

So, luckily Rylen came home sick today with 101 fever on my day off so I can hopefully nurse him back to health before I have to go back to work on Sunday.Chicken noodle soup and 7 up, here I come!

Roller Coaster Ride

So, it has been awhile since I have written. Things have REALLY been a roller coaster ride lately. The kids and I got moved back to town. It is so much nicer being 2 miles from work rather than 22 miles! Rylen has been very insecure and kinda "needy" lately, which I think is due to the divorce and moving. I am hoping we can get that worked out soon though. Alyssa has been a wonderful help, but then again she has been throwing me her teen attitude at times. I know she is growing up, but I truly think we have a tough time with our teens because when they turn 18 we won't feel as bad about them moving out on their own! I am joking, well kinda.

I have been working on "finding myself" and I am not sure, some days I don't like what I am finding! Some days I am a moody, emotional wreck. Some days I am the strong, backboned, independent woman I have always tried to be. I like that person, although there are times I want someone to tell me it will all be alright and I won't have to go through it by myself and they will be there with me. I am just not sure I want the baggage that comes with it.

I have decided one thing....I refuse to go through another divorce in this lifetime. I will not, I repeat, will NOT get married again unless I am positive it is THE person, because I will not go through this again.

I do think things are getting better though, because I don't find myself wondering what if and I don't get near as upset about seeing him in town or hearing from mutual friends what he is doing now r if he was seen with someone in town. I was always good at fakin it not bothering me, but I am realizing it isn't hurting my heart and causing me to want to throw up when I hear it. That has to be progress!

So, this has even been a roller coaster of a blog tonight. But I feel better now. I think this is the best therapy I could ever pay for (and it is free!)